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Although the specifics of her story are very different from what happened to me, the feelings she described were enough to remind me of where I was four years ago this month. She has two men who want to marry her, but she can’t decide what to do.She’s dated both of them, but the relationships have been very different. She saw things in him that she knew needed work — for both of them. There aren’t the highs and lows, but there also isn’t the magical connection.

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May overlap with All Love Is Unrequited and Gayngst. Of course, some characters can simply resort to Jumping the Gender Barrier or perhaps, if they're desperate enough, resort to Genderbending.Compare to Settled for Gay, where they may have incompatible orientations, but they decided they probably wouldn't find a suitable suitor anyways.As Ashley told me her story, I flashed back to July of 2008.I’ve mentioned a bit of this story before, but I’m going to tell you a very intense part that I’ve never had reason to tell before. I was in love with the one I was dating at the time, but I was scared of some things I saw in her (and things I saw in myself, too, even if I wasn’t honest enough with myself at the time to see it that way).In a lot of works, especially manga and anime, this is often done mostly for amusement purposes, by turning the person in love into a Hopeless Suitor or even a Butt-Monkey.

Lesbians are particularly prone to receive this treatment, although others are not exempt from it.

She was very much in love with me, and she wanted to marry me. All that was left was breaking the news to the other woman — who had been hoping all along that I’d end up with her.

By early July, I had decided that was what I was going to do. On Saturday, July 5, 2008, I arranged to meet the second woman at a restaurant to talk, so I could break the news.

To meet the requirements of this trope the relationship must be stated as hopeless or impossible .

This means that Incompatible Orientation doesn't have to be a permanent state of being, and attempts may be made within the plot to "fix" it somehow.

Because of the way I was raised, I have a very difficult time not giving other people what they want, emotionally, even when it’s not right for me. Even though I knew I loved the first woman, I felt that I must be doing something wrong.